Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
