And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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