Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize