Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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