It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize