hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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