If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
