I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize