During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
