She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
