Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
