Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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