Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
And then my night got REAL pukey
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize