Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize