I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So much rum. So many feels.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
