3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
