This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
