I think i sorta joined a cult last night
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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