Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
