Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
