i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
