I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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