Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
