This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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