What a fucking waste of an outfit
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize