should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize