Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
smell my finger.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
