Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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