Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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