Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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