This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
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