I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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