Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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