Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Found the puke drawer
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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