Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
