I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
