Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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