btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
