my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize