If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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