Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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