He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
