I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
