just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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