I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
