I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Randomize
