nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
