that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
