Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
