Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
