porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
