I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
