I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
