I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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