I think i peed on brittanys purse
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
