somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
