I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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