Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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